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1 <!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
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2 <HTML>
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3 <HEAD>
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4 <META NAME="generator" CONTENT="http://txt2tags.sf.net">
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5 <LINK REL="stylesheet" TYPE="text/css" HREF="dmd.css">
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6 <TITLE>Dance, Monkeys, Dance -- By Ernest Cline</TITLE>
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7 </HEAD>
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8 <BODY>
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9
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10 <DIV CLASS="header" ID="header">
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11 <H1>Dance, Monkeys, Dance -- By Ernest Cline</H1>
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12 </DIV>
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13
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14 <DIV CLASS="body" ID="body">
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15 <PRE>
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16 Orbiting the sun at about 98 million miles
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17 is a little blue planet
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18 and this planet is run
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19 by a bunch of monkeys.
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20
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21 Now, the monkeys don't think of
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22 themselves as monkeys.
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23 They don't even think of themselves as animals
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24 And they love to list all the things
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25 that they think
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26 separate them from the animals:
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27 Opposable thumbs, self awareness . . .
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28 They'll use words like
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29 Homo Erectus and Australopithecus.
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30
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31 You say Toe-mate-o,
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32 I say Toe-motto.
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33 They're animals all right.
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34 They're monkeys.
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35 Monkeys with high-speed digital fiber optic technology,
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36 but monkeys nevertheless.
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37
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38 I mean, they're clever.
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39 You've got to give them that.
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40 The Pyramids, skyscrapers, phantom jets,
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41 the Great Wall of China.
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42 That's some pretty impressive shit . . .
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43 for a bunch of monkeys.
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44
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45 Monkeys whose brains have evolved
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46 to such an unmanageable size
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47 that it's now pretty much impossible
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48 for them stay happy for any length of time
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49
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50 In fact, they're the only animals
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51 that think they're supposed to be happy.
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52 All of the other animals can just be.
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53
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54 But it's not that simple for the monkeys.
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55
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56 You see, the monkeys are cursed with consciousness
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57 and so the monkeys are afraid.
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58 So the monkeys worry.
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59 The monkeys worry about everything,
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60 but mostly about what all the other monkeys think.
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61 Because the monkeys desperately want to fit in
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62 with the other monkeys.
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63
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64 Which is hard to do,
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65 because a lot of the monkeys seem to hate each other.
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66 This is what really separates them from the other animals.
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67 These monkeys hate.
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68 They hate monkeys that are different.
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69 Monkeys from different places,
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70 monkeys who are a different color-
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71
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72 You see, the monkeys feel alone.
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73 All six billion of them.
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74
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75 Some of the monkeys pay another monkey
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76 to listen to their problems.
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77
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78 Because the monkeys want answers
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79 and the monkeys don't want to die.
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80 So the monkeys make up gods
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81 and then they worship them.
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82 Then the monkeys argue
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83 over whose made-up god is better.
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84 Then the monkeys get really pissed off
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85 and this is usually when the monkeys decide
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86 that it's a good time to start killing each other.
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87
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88 So the monkeys wage war.
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89 The monkeys make hydrogen bombs.
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90 The monkeys have got their whole fucking planet
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91 wired up to explode.
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92 The monkeys just can't help it.
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93
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94 Some of the monkeys play to a sold out crowd . . .
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95 of other monkeys.
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96
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97 The monkeys make trophies
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98 and then they give them to each other.
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99 Like it means something.
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100
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101 Some of the monkeys think
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102 that they have it all worked out.
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103 Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche
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104 The monkeys argue about Nietzsche
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105 without giving any consideration to the fact
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106 that Nietzsche
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107 was just another fucking monkey.
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108
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109 The monkeys make plans.
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110 The monkeys fall in love.
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111 The monkeys fuck
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112 and then they make more monkeys.
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113
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114 The monkeys make music
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115 and then the monkeys DANCE
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116 Dance, monkeys, dance.
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117
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118 The monkeys make a hell of a lot of noise.
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119 Exhibit A
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120 Monkey making noise.
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121 And when he's done,
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122 five other randomly selected monkeys
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123 will rate this monkey's noises
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124 on a scale from one to ten.
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125 And at the end of the night,
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126 they add all the numbers up
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127 to see which monkey made the best noises.
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128
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129 As you can see . . .
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130 these are some fucked up monkeys.
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131
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132 These monkeys are at once the ugliest
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133 and most beautiful creatures on the planet.
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134
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135 And the monkeys don't want to be monkeys.
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136 They want to be something else.
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137 But they're not.
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138 </PRE>
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139 <P></P>
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140 <P>
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141 <A HREF="dance_monkeys.html">Back to "Dance, Monkeys, Dance"</A>
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142 </P>
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143 </DIV>
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144
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145 <!-- html code generated by txt2tags 2.4 (http://txt2tags.sf.net) -->
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146 <!-- cmdline: txt2tags -t html -\-css-sugar -\-style=dmd.css dance_monkeys.t2t dance_monkeys_about.t2t dance_monkeys_text.t2t -->
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147 </BODY></HTML>
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