1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/dmd/dance_monkeys_text.t2t	Fri Apr 03 23:58:24 2020 -0700
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,132 @@
     1.4 +Dance, Monkeys, Dance -- By Ernest Cline
     1.5 +
     1.6 +
     1.7 +
     1.8 +% ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     1.9 +
    1.10 +```
    1.11 +Orbiting the sun at about 98 million miles
    1.12 +is a little blue planet
    1.13 +and this planet is run
    1.14 +by a bunch of monkeys.
    1.15 +
    1.16 +Now, the monkeys don't think of
    1.17 +themselves as monkeys.
    1.18 +They don't even think of themselves as animals
    1.19 +And they love to list all the things
    1.20 +that they think
    1.21 +separate them from the animals:
    1.22 +Opposable thumbs, self awareness . . .
    1.23 +They'll use words like
    1.24 +Homo Erectus and Australopithecus.
    1.25 +
    1.26 +You say Toe-mate-o,
    1.27 +I say Toe-motto.
    1.28 +They're animals all right.
    1.29 +They're monkeys.
    1.30 +Monkeys with high-speed digital fiber optic technology,
    1.31 +but monkeys nevertheless.
    1.32 +
    1.33 +I mean, they're clever.
    1.34 +You've got to give them that.
    1.35 +The Pyramids, skyscrapers, phantom jets,
    1.36 +the Great Wall of China.
    1.37 +That's some pretty impressive shit . . .
    1.38 +for a bunch of monkeys.
    1.39 +
    1.40 +Monkeys whose brains have evolved
    1.41 +to such an unmanageable size
    1.42 +that it's now pretty much impossible
    1.43 +for them stay happy for any length of time
    1.44 +
    1.45 +In fact, they're the only animals
    1.46 +that think they're supposed to be happy.
    1.47 +All of the other animals can just be.
    1.48 +
    1.49 +But it's not that simple for the monkeys.
    1.50 +
    1.51 +You see, the monkeys are cursed with consciousness
    1.52 +and so the monkeys are afraid.
    1.53 +So the monkeys worry.
    1.54 +The monkeys worry about everything,
    1.55 +but mostly about what all the other monkeys think.
    1.56 +Because the monkeys desperately want to fit in
    1.57 +with the other monkeys.
    1.58 +
    1.59 +Which is hard to do,
    1.60 +because a lot of the monkeys seem to hate each other.
    1.61 +This is what really separates them from the other animals.
    1.62 +These monkeys hate.
    1.63 +They hate monkeys that are different.
    1.64 +Monkeys from different places,
    1.65 +monkeys who are a different color-
    1.66 +
    1.67 +You see, the monkeys feel alone.
    1.68 +All six billion of them.
    1.69 +
    1.70 +Some of the monkeys pay another monkey
    1.71 +to listen to their problems.
    1.72 +
    1.73 +Because the monkeys want answers
    1.74 +and the monkeys don't want to die.
    1.75 +So the monkeys make up gods
    1.76 +and then they worship them.
    1.77 +Then the monkeys argue
    1.78 +over whose made-up god is better.
    1.79 +Then the monkeys get really pissed off
    1.80 +and this is usually when the monkeys decide
    1.81 +that it's a good time to start killing each other.
    1.82 +
    1.83 +So the monkeys wage war.
    1.84 +The monkeys make hydrogen bombs.
    1.85 +The monkeys have got their whole fucking planet
    1.86 +wired up to explode.
    1.87 +The monkeys just can't help it.
    1.88 +
    1.89 +Some of the monkeys play to a sold out crowd . . .
    1.90 +of other monkeys.
    1.91 +
    1.92 +The monkeys make trophies
    1.93 +and then they give them to each other.
    1.94 +Like it means something.
    1.95 +
    1.96 +Some of the monkeys think
    1.97 +that they have it all worked out.
    1.98 +Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche
    1.99 +The monkeys argue about Nietzsche
   1.100 +without giving any consideration to the fact
   1.101 +that Nietzsche
   1.102 +was just another fucking monkey.
   1.103 +
   1.104 +The monkeys make plans.
   1.105 +The monkeys fall in love.
   1.106 +The monkeys fuck
   1.107 +and then they make more monkeys.
   1.108 +
   1.109 +The monkeys make music
   1.110 +and then the monkeys DANCE
   1.111 +Dance, monkeys, dance.
   1.112 +
   1.113 +The monkeys make a hell of a lot of noise.
   1.114 +Exhibit A
   1.115 +Monkey making noise.
   1.116 +And when he's done,
   1.117 +five other randomly selected monkeys
   1.118 +will rate this monkey's noises
   1.119 +on a scale from one to ten.
   1.120 +And at the end of the night,
   1.121 +they add all the numbers up
   1.122 +to see which monkey made the best noises.
   1.123 +
   1.124 +As you can see . . .
   1.125 +these are some fucked up monkeys.
   1.126 +
   1.127 +These monkeys are at once the ugliest
   1.128 +and most beautiful creatures on the planet.
   1.129 +
   1.130 +And the monkeys don't want to be monkeys.
   1.131 +They want to be something else.
   1.132 +But they're not. 
   1.133 +```
   1.134 +
   1.135 +[Back to "Dance, Monkeys, Dance" dance_monkeys.html]