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| author | paulo |
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| date | Wed, 15 May 2024 00:29:19 -0700 |
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6 <TITLE>Dance, Monkeys, Dance -- By Ernest Cline</TITLE>
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10 <DIV CLASS="header" ID="header">
11 <H1>Dance, Monkeys, Dance -- By Ernest Cline</H1>
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14 <DIV CLASS="body" ID="body">
15 <PRE>
16 Orbiting the sun at about 98 million miles
17 is a little blue planet
18 and this planet is run
19 by a bunch of monkeys.
21 Now, the monkeys don't think of
22 themselves as monkeys.
23 They don't even think of themselves as animals
24 And they love to list all the things
25 that they think
26 separate them from the animals:
27 Opposable thumbs, self awareness . . .
28 They'll use words like
29 Homo Erectus and Australopithecus.
31 You say Toe-mate-o,
32 I say Toe-motto.
33 They're animals all right.
34 They're monkeys.
35 Monkeys with high-speed digital fiber optic technology,
36 but monkeys nevertheless.
38 I mean, they're clever.
39 You've got to give them that.
40 The Pyramids, skyscrapers, phantom jets,
41 the Great Wall of China.
42 That's some pretty impressive shit . . .
43 for a bunch of monkeys.
45 Monkeys whose brains have evolved
46 to such an unmanageable size
47 that it's now pretty much impossible
48 for them stay happy for any length of time
50 In fact, they're the only animals
51 that think they're supposed to be happy.
52 All of the other animals can just be.
54 But it's not that simple for the monkeys.
56 You see, the monkeys are cursed with consciousness
57 and so the monkeys are afraid.
58 So the monkeys worry.
59 The monkeys worry about everything,
60 but mostly about what all the other monkeys think.
61 Because the monkeys desperately want to fit in
62 with the other monkeys.
64 Which is hard to do,
65 because a lot of the monkeys seem to hate each other.
66 This is what really separates them from the other animals.
67 These monkeys hate.
68 They hate monkeys that are different.
69 Monkeys from different places,
70 monkeys who are a different color-
72 You see, the monkeys feel alone.
73 All six billion of them.
75 Some of the monkeys pay another monkey
76 to listen to their problems.
78 Because the monkeys want answers
79 and the monkeys don't want to die.
80 So the monkeys make up gods
81 and then they worship them.
82 Then the monkeys argue
83 over whose made-up god is better.
84 Then the monkeys get really pissed off
85 and this is usually when the monkeys decide
86 that it's a good time to start killing each other.
88 So the monkeys wage war.
89 The monkeys make hydrogen bombs.
90 The monkeys have got their whole fucking planet
91 wired up to explode.
92 The monkeys just can't help it.
94 Some of the monkeys play to a sold out crowd . . .
95 of other monkeys.
97 The monkeys make trophies
98 and then they give them to each other.
99 Like it means something.
101 Some of the monkeys think
102 that they have it all worked out.
103 Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche
104 The monkeys argue about Nietzsche
105 without giving any consideration to the fact
106 that Nietzsche
107 was just another fucking monkey.
109 The monkeys make plans.
110 The monkeys fall in love.
111 The monkeys fuck
112 and then they make more monkeys.
114 The monkeys make music
115 and then the monkeys DANCE
116 Dance, monkeys, dance.
118 The monkeys make a hell of a lot of noise.
119 Exhibit A
120 Monkey making noise.
121 And when he's done,
122 five other randomly selected monkeys
123 will rate this monkey's noises
124 on a scale from one to ten.
125 And at the end of the night,
126 they add all the numbers up
127 to see which monkey made the best noises.
129 As you can see . . .
130 these are some fucked up monkeys.
132 These monkeys are at once the ugliest
133 and most beautiful creatures on the planet.
135 And the monkeys don't want to be monkeys.
136 They want to be something else.
137 But they're not.
138 </PRE>
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