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1 <!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> | |
2 <HTML> | |
3 <HEAD> | |
4 <META NAME="generator" CONTENT="http://txt2tags.sf.net"> | |
5 <LINK REL="stylesheet" TYPE="text/css" HREF="dmd.css"> | |
6 <TITLE>Dance, Monkeys, Dance -- By Ernest Cline</TITLE> | |
7 </HEAD> | |
8 <BODY> | |
9 | |
10 <DIV CLASS="header" ID="header"> | |
11 <H1>Dance, Monkeys, Dance -- By Ernest Cline</H1> | |
12 </DIV> | |
13 | |
14 <DIV CLASS="body" ID="body"> | |
15 <PRE> | |
16 Orbiting the sun at about 98 million miles | |
17 is a little blue planet | |
18 and this planet is run | |
19 by a bunch of monkeys. | |
20 | |
21 Now, the monkeys don't think of | |
22 themselves as monkeys. | |
23 They don't even think of themselves as animals | |
24 And they love to list all the things | |
25 that they think | |
26 separate them from the animals: | |
27 Opposable thumbs, self awareness . . . | |
28 They'll use words like | |
29 Homo Erectus and Australopithecus. | |
30 | |
31 You say Toe-mate-o, | |
32 I say Toe-motto. | |
33 They're animals all right. | |
34 They're monkeys. | |
35 Monkeys with high-speed digital fiber optic technology, | |
36 but monkeys nevertheless. | |
37 | |
38 I mean, they're clever. | |
39 You've got to give them that. | |
40 The Pyramids, skyscrapers, phantom jets, | |
41 the Great Wall of China. | |
42 That's some pretty impressive shit . . . | |
43 for a bunch of monkeys. | |
44 | |
45 Monkeys whose brains have evolved | |
46 to such an unmanageable size | |
47 that it's now pretty much impossible | |
48 for them stay happy for any length of time | |
49 | |
50 In fact, they're the only animals | |
51 that think they're supposed to be happy. | |
52 All of the other animals can just be. | |
53 | |
54 But it's not that simple for the monkeys. | |
55 | |
56 You see, the monkeys are cursed with consciousness | |
57 and so the monkeys are afraid. | |
58 So the monkeys worry. | |
59 The monkeys worry about everything, | |
60 but mostly about what all the other monkeys think. | |
61 Because the monkeys desperately want to fit in | |
62 with the other monkeys. | |
63 | |
64 Which is hard to do, | |
65 because a lot of the monkeys seem to hate each other. | |
66 This is what really separates them from the other animals. | |
67 These monkeys hate. | |
68 They hate monkeys that are different. | |
69 Monkeys from different places, | |
70 monkeys who are a different color- | |
71 | |
72 You see, the monkeys feel alone. | |
73 All six billion of them. | |
74 | |
75 Some of the monkeys pay another monkey | |
76 to listen to their problems. | |
77 | |
78 Because the monkeys want answers | |
79 and the monkeys don't want to die. | |
80 So the monkeys make up gods | |
81 and then they worship them. | |
82 Then the monkeys argue | |
83 over whose made-up god is better. | |
84 Then the monkeys get really pissed off | |
85 and this is usually when the monkeys decide | |
86 that it's a good time to start killing each other. | |
87 | |
88 So the monkeys wage war. | |
89 The monkeys make hydrogen bombs. | |
90 The monkeys have got their whole fucking planet | |
91 wired up to explode. | |
92 The monkeys just can't help it. | |
93 | |
94 Some of the monkeys play to a sold out crowd . . . | |
95 of other monkeys. | |
96 | |
97 The monkeys make trophies | |
98 and then they give them to each other. | |
99 Like it means something. | |
100 | |
101 Some of the monkeys think | |
102 that they have it all worked out. | |
103 Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche | |
104 The monkeys argue about Nietzsche | |
105 without giving any consideration to the fact | |
106 that Nietzsche | |
107 was just another fucking monkey. | |
108 | |
109 The monkeys make plans. | |
110 The monkeys fall in love. | |
111 The monkeys fuck | |
112 and then they make more monkeys. | |
113 | |
114 The monkeys make music | |
115 and then the monkeys DANCE | |
116 Dance, monkeys, dance. | |
117 | |
118 The monkeys make a hell of a lot of noise. | |
119 Exhibit A | |
120 Monkey making noise. | |
121 And when he's done, | |
122 five other randomly selected monkeys | |
123 will rate this monkey's noises | |
124 on a scale from one to ten. | |
125 And at the end of the night, | |
126 they add all the numbers up | |
127 to see which monkey made the best noises. | |
128 | |
129 As you can see . . . | |
130 these are some fucked up monkeys. | |
131 | |
132 These monkeys are at once the ugliest | |
133 and most beautiful creatures on the planet. | |
134 | |
135 And the monkeys don't want to be monkeys. | |
136 They want to be something else. | |
137 But they're not. | |
138 </PRE> | |
139 <P></P> | |
140 <P> | |
141 <A HREF="dance_monkeys.html">Back to "Dance, Monkeys, Dance"</A> | |
142 </P> | |
143 </DIV> | |
144 | |
145 <!-- html code generated by txt2tags 2.4 (http://txt2tags.sf.net) --> | |
146 <!-- cmdline: txt2tags -t html -\-css-sugar -\-style=dmd.css dance_monkeys.t2t dance_monkeys_about.t2t dance_monkeys_text.t2t --> | |
147 </BODY></HTML> |